Kiss The Clock, It's 11:11 (Listening to: Light Years Away, Mozella)

It probably won't be by the time I'm done writing this.
I haven't had time to write for weeks. School is basically eating my life et cetera and I'm too busy swooning over The Expelled Boy to write about swooning over him.
Wow, my life is so pathetic.

I thought I'd tell the entire world about it though.
First of all I'm in love with some new music, but I'll totally tell you about that later. Maybe I'll do a top whatever playlist sometime. That might be fun. Anyways, this song I have on repeat right now is an old favorite off my very first painting playlist freshman year.

Also known as two years ago, when the world was still black and white and oh so much easier.

I think I'm happier in color, even shades of grey.

But anyway, this song is beautiful. I've always loved it. It is just so mellow and the rhyming couplets are enchanting. Her voice is beautiful in an ugly-pretty way. I forget sometimes how much music has become a soudtrack to my life. Listening to it takes me right back to some of my first paintings, made in a few hours on the floor of my room with shitty brushes and my mini easel. The smell is...wow. Gotta love sense-memory.

I don't think I got this song back then. Back then I was so innocent; I had never had a boyfriend, a kiss, or even a hand to hold. I forget sometimes how much I wanted what I've had. It was worth it.

I'm remembering how long I spent crying over not being called by Art School Boy. The lyrics really fit that. I never realized it I guess. I was stuck on Tiny Vessels to get me through that crisis.

But:

Boy, looking back I see, I'm not the girl I used to be. When I lost my mind, it saved my life. But I don't blame you anymore, that's too much pain to store.
And I think I cried for days but that seems light years away.
And I'm never going back to who I was.
That life seems like light years away.

My head is so full of stories and things to say. It's totally jumbled.
Songs, my essay about myself, weekend spontaneity, LOVE, death, acting class
I wish I could share them all, right now.
I'll come back to them.


This is terrible blog. I'm pretty sure I'm breaking all the rules.